Greetings Fellow Masters.
Have you noticed your mantle piece lately? Do there appear to be groups of grown men teaming up around it? Are they tramping mud through the house?
This is because your double Pan Pac Masters Gold medal stash is under threat, if not outright attack.
If this was any more serious Dave McKinney would have written to Facebook about it*. Luckily, this situation is a bit more conducive to direct action and a victorious outcome for the forces of good the world over than the tricky political landscape we seem to find ourselves in. Fear not! All is not lost. This situation, like all important situations can be fixed by rugby. You can cast your vote in special polling boots found situated on the end of your legs. You mark the opponent who you want to vote against by placing your shoulder directly into his**** body. It’s all very very simple. You can even be as offensive as you like.
All that is required is that you move yourself and possibly your close family to the Gold Coast for the week of the 1st –9th of November. Many of the lads bring their families as the Queensland caters for all.
Shifty, the great leader of our times, needs you. He doesn’t ask for much. Just complete obedience and to win the tournament.
Call him here 0405 238 563
Email him here. firstname.lastname@example.org
Or just close your eyes in the dead of night and touch your GCPPMGM (Gold Coast Pan Pac Masters Gold Medal) and he will hear your thoughts. Think clearly now, he’s a little deaf.
Remember the rugby, the night’s out, the international boxing sensation, was that really ACDC?, the day at the races, Pepsi’s stubby holder rules, hilarious japes involving Dunny’s socks, the victories and above all the victory laps.
Nacho (captain 2010*****)
Pan Pac Masters Details
Playing Dates: 3rd-7th Nov
Opening Ceremony: 1st Nov
Location: Gold Coast (there’s a clue in the title)
Entry Cost: $100 ($120 after 3rd Sep)
Game Times: From 4pm (cos it’s hot up North)
Accommodation: Pretty good apartments and not too expensive.